Restarting myself…AGAIN

I signed up for the Hot Chocolate 5k in St. Louis in December to motivate me to put my running shoes back on and get back to it. A month is too long to take off and I’m still not eager to get out there in the dark and cold to run. I use my Nike+ Running application to give me a training plan using the “coach”. I got a late start on an 8 week plan that started Thursday of this past week. The virtual coach had the plan for me to do cross training Thursday and Run 3 and 4 miles Friday and Saturday and then rest on Sunday (today). Thursday, I did a 30 minute workout called “Slim Effect” on another Nike based application with my 4-year-old son following along and my 2-year-old daughter watching like we were crazy. Friday, I woke up early and felt alert enough to go for a run. I heard the wind whipping the trees around outside and quickly decided that I should wait until later in the day to see if the wind would die down. It is an excuse, but I don’t run when it’s very windy. It takes my breath away and my contact lenses often end up rolling up in my eye. Yesterday was Saturday and I was planning to run in the evening. That was, until I ate a late dinner. That was certainly a poor excuse to skip my run.

I need to get back out there and run. Today is a rest day, but I’ve set out running clothes on my counter for when I decide to run later today. I want to start running in the morning, which might be my reason to hold off until I wake up tomorrow. I know that I enjoy the benefits of running. The soreness from my Thursday workout kicked in yesterday and is still there today. Had I gone for those running sessions, the soreness would probably be much less intense. It is more possible to find time to get a cross training or resistance workout in than it is to fit in an outdoor run. I can’t just head out when the kids go down for a nap. I don’t have a treadmill or a gym membership and they aren’t reasonably attainable now.

I made a spreadsheet the daily training plan on it all the way through the 5k race in December. I’ve also started a notebook of “when you feel like quitting, remember why you started.” I write one reason daily that I started working out. I’m assuming that will help me have something to look at when I really feel like quitting or when I need to motivate myself to get up and do the work. The main problem that I have with doing so much work for a fit self is that I know how hard I work to try to lose weight and I know how little it shows. I also know that people don’t see someone who works hard for her healthy when they see me. I’m not the perfect size, but I do work hard and try for a thinner and healthier looking version of me. I don’t like that I’m critical of myself, but I haven’t figured out how to appreciate myself at any size. I find it really hard when I see people who lost over 100 lbs in the time its taken me to roller coaster ride up and down 30 lbs. I can honestly say that seeing other people succeed doesn’t encourage me as much as it makes me wonder why I just can’t do it. It is so hard. It is painful. It takes a long time. BUT…You have no idea how much life you have ahead. It is better to live it feeling good from nutritious food and the energy from working out. I often say about a book or a movie that the story is more about the journey than the destination. This is especially true in life since the eventual destination could be delayed by enjoying a certain quality of life and treating your body right.

Are your expectations for your body realistic? Do you find yourself feeling encouraged by the success of others or discouraged?

This week’s training plan is as follows:

11/3/2014 RUN 3 MILES
11/4/2014 RUN 4 MILES
11/5/2014 RUN 3 MILES
11/6/2014 CROSS TRAIN
11/7/2014 RUN 3 MILES
11/8/2014 RUN 5 MILES
11/9/2014 REST

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