On the approach

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Time passes. Miles pass. At least the watch is cute…

We’re approaching the end of 2015 to usher in 2016. The future is the final frontier that we’re uncovering constantly. While being “on the approach” would typically indicate that we’re descending in a flight, I’m not quite sure that’s the case. There’s less of a predictable nature of time moving where we’re going up, down, and sideways, yet always forward no matter which direction we’re looking.

This year has seen new and different things for everyone. My oldest kid started high school. My youngest started preschool. The middle child started going to preschool 5 days a week. My husband got a promotion at work. I ran a half marathon.

In the past year, we discovered our oldest has Crohn’s disease after a series of doctor visits and tests. Then, we watched in disbelief as she uncovered things she’d been hiding from us. It seemed surreal to hear. Our honor roll student and recently baptized teenager who was once a soccer player, cross country/track runner, and an avid reader had deviated from who we believed she was. I sat in an emergency room praying, crying, thinking, and hoping she’d survive an intentional overdose. I cried as her doctor told me that I needed to send her to rehabilitation for drugs and alcohol. I sought refuge in my husband’s arms many times and I’ve cried on his shoulder when I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. We celebrated Christmas together at home. The very next day, we were reporting her as a runaway and sending her back to the hospital once she was retrieved and evaluated. She won’t be home to ring in 2016.

My husband attributes my ability to handle the stress to running. I have more friends and less time inside of my head to overthink things. I also have something where I feel accomplished when I’m pretty sure I’m not cutting it in the parenting arena. With parenting, even when I’m giving it my best, someone is standing by to say it isn’t good enough. When I’m running, I’m doing my best and there isn’t much anyone can say to make me feel inadequate about it. Of course, I joke about not being fast enough or not losing a ton of weight. I’m constantly beating my best times and even when I’m not, I’m preparing myself to do something greater. This year, I’ll run a few half marathons and hopefully one will beat my time from 2015. Maybe I’ll inspire some people to run and even try for a half marathon. I’ll also be trying to get the elusive sub 30 minute 5k. I put that goal on hold in 2015 to focus on the half marathon.

I’m not excited about the new year. I’m not optimistic about January 1st being the dawn of happiness for the rest of my days. I’m just hopeful that as time marches forward, I can grow and learn from the things that happen. I hope that I can find things that make me smile and laugh along the way. At the end of 2014, I said that I would run a half marathon before turning 35. I turn 35 in a little over a week. I did it. Now on to other things that keep me excited about moving into the future. I know what I want and I hope I can find ways achieve the tasks ahead.

Do you have any plans for the coming year? Are you looking forward to it? Thanks for reading! I hope you’ve enjoyed this entry. I try to post at least once a week.

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