The Bull

There’s a song by [a band named] Atreyu called “Becoming the Bull,” where the lyrics say, “Grab the bull by the horns the old adage goes. Nobody tells you where to go from here.” While one could argue that its simply a line in a song and nothing more, it speaks to me as the whole song kind of does.

Atreyu “Becoming the Bull”

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Right. My drawing is still bad. Here’s “The Bull”

Recently, there was a medication adjustment for the teen. She was more angsty than ever and often verbally cruel. During one outburst, her phone was taken away. I decided to try to see if there was another problem that had bubbled up that she was not sharing with her father and I, so I started sifting through the many apps on the phone. That’s when I found the pics she had been struggling with since October. The ones I thought were taken candidly and without her knowledge that I’d mentioned in a previous post. I saw that they weren’t candid at all and I was disappointed that I’d been lied to so many times about the same thing by the same person. It doesn’t change the way I feel about the people who repost them and say despicable things to and about her in regards to the attempt at her life in November. A misstep is something everyone experiences in life. You try to move forward and past things and sometimes, people pick your rubbish from behind you on the path and bring it up to you waving it in your face to remind you of it. It doesn’t mean it isn’t rubbish and that it shouldn’t have been left behind. It means that someone wants people to lose focus of their own trash and they’ve picked up yours to distract from his/her own. It’s cruel and it isn’t right for people to do to one another. It just seems to be a way some people live.

I realized last weekend that I was signing up for a half marathon and was not taking the extra miles in to accomplish running 13.1 miles. I planned to run a few miles after our Saturday training run, but my husband mentioned feeling unwell, so I went home and planned to go later on. Instead, I headed out Sunday afternoon and ran 8 miles on the trail. My hands were freezing, but running seemed effortless once I got out and started. I really needed that time with my headphones on and my running shoes on to be outside and to have no other purpose than complete 8 miles. At first, my mind was consumed with all of the lists of things to do, bills to pay, accounts to reconcile, appointments to make, and other things that fall into the category of “very important for continuity of modern life,but not to enjoying this moment.” I started to think about more abstract subjects and realized that I was taking the hills without slowing and without panting once I reached the top. I was doing it with ease. I needed that long run and I needed to solitude. While I’ve been reluctant to train for anything while I’m mentoring people to run the 10k, I’m going to remember to keep up with the longer runs so it can be done with ease when the time comes. There’s always some push an pull involved in running. If you don’t keep up with distance, it becomes more difficult. If you don’t switch things up once in awhile, you don’t reap any benefits. Running can be a great example in other parts of life. The things that you nurture will become the things that do well. The things that you neglect are the things that are tougher to improve and take a little extra care when the time comes to put it into practice.

The weather is starting to get warmer. We have the threat of one more wintery storm in the coming day or so. Then, the winter will probably start to ease away into the spring. Running season is starting to peek through with races to sign up and train for. I’m excited for the races I’ve signed up for so far. I’m excited that I actually ran through the winter months and won’t have to feel like I’m starting over when the weather is finally warming up. I still have run each day this year at least 1 mile per day and every one of those miles has been outdoors. Mentoring has been great. We’re so close to the goal distance and I’m excited for the day we do a trial run of the course ahead of the race day. I can’t wait to see the people I’ve been running with realize their abilities! I plan to keep up the streak for the foreseeable future and hope to make it all 366 days of the year.

Do you take time where you’re alone with your thoughts and clear your mind? Do you have any races coming up? Any new goals yet?

Thanks for reading! Please feel free to drop me a comment or message. I love to hear from people reading my blog!

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