So many things and so little energy

I have a lot to say and a lack of energy to write about all of the things I want to say. My depression is not too bad lately, but my anxiety has been high. I’m working on body confidence while trying to eat what I want when I want. I still go to the gym most days unless I’m feeling tired. I listen to my body when it comes to resting.

After the oral surgery I had back in February and the subsequent infection that followed me around for 3 weeks, I still struggled to get back into the swing of things in regular life. My husband has continued to pitch in for my everyday chores and still prepared dinner most nights. My energy has been coming back extremely slowly. I feel like my athletic performance has been sub par and declined recently. I’ve missed running, but the podiatrist cautioned me about going back to it too soon. I did the Crossfit open and I’m convinced that competition negatively impacts how I feel about myself and that I should try to avoid it. I’m already signed up for another dose of Festivus as a team in April. I’m just hoping for fun with my teammates and keeping myself motivated to work out by looking forward to this one. I intend to have a few short runs during spring break so I can do at least one 5k this fall.

I’ve been worried about writing anything. When I’ve had conflict with someone in my household, she used things that I wrote here or on my social media as fuel to pick at my insecurities and tried to hurt me. While I understand that’s more about them than me, it still makes me hesitate to share. One day, I will stop feeling trepidation about telling my stories.

I have been working on following “The Fuck It Diet,” and I’m eating more of what I want when I want. I’m learning to listen to my body. The body acceptance part is coming much more slowly. I see my lower abdomen [my pooch] and I think I should ditch the intuitive eating and go back into dieting. I haven’t touched the scale except with the sweeper that goes under my bed.

Post workout selfie

Thanks for reading! I’d love to know if you enjoy my posts or have any suggestions.


4 thoughts on “So many things and so little energy

  1. Hi, I have struggled all my life with weight, and diets. I know it isn’t easy. Happy to hear your tooth pain has calmed down.
    Sometimes depression zaps energy. It’s a really struggle sometimes. It feels like I’m just trying to keep my head above the water, and not drown.
    I will pray for you and the rest of your family. We love you! Mom

  2. During the pandemic I was on the “see food” diet. We’ll mainly see alcohol diet. I gained 47lbs mainly from drinking super sugary drinks. I ended up weighing close to my heaviest NON pregnant weight ever, tipping the scales at 263lbs. Since January of 2021 I have been fighting to regain my life (and figure) and I wish I had your dedication and discipline to go to the gym. I did make the conscious decision though to stop caring what the scale said as long as I felt good in my clothes. Surprisingly- with minimal exercise and healthy eating and MUCH LESS alcohol, I’ve dropped down to 194. Long way from where I was but still a far cry from what I’d like to be. Yet you’re always my inspiration to know that I can. I’m happy you post your journey it always keeps me going. ❤️

  3. I want to thank you for your posts. The struggle is real. Sometimes, we have to count just being able to get up is a win. We can do a little more the next day. You are a champion

  4. Yeah, competition negatively impacts me as well. I totally avoid it. Unless it is something amount friends but when the competition becomes “I’m better than you and I’m going to prove it to you” I fade away.

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