What else could…nevermind

I refuse to ask the question, “What else could go wrong?” It’s like tempting bad things to go ahead and happen. I guess that is a an odd way to think when I assert that things are more random and less purposeful than people like to believe.

What are you talking about, Jenn? Well, I haven’t been running. This isn’t really that big of a surprise considering I hurt my ankle pretty badly right before I was to run my first marathon about a month ago. Things are healing and it actually looks like my other foot now, which is progress. I haven’t been working out at all,though. I’ve lost a few pounds on the scale, though. I’ve been sick and hating it.

Two weeks ago, I felt fine. By the start of the following week, I was not fine anymore. I was weak and my body ached. I had trouble doing my day to day chores. My body was aching and the joints in both of my legs and feet felt like they were rusted and stuck. I started coughing and just didn’t feel like myself. My husband was taking care of me and I needed to be well enough to host Thanksgiving. I wound up leaning mostly on him for everything assuming I was going to feel better the very next day each day. The Monday after Thanksgiving saw me still not getting much sleep, so Tuesday I saw a ‘doc in the box’ at a pharmacy. She diagnosed me with pneumonia and possibly infections in both ears, gave me an antibiotic, and encouraged me to follow up with my family physician.

I’m still coughing like crazy, but I can actually hear without feeling like I have something wrapped around my head. I called my family physician, who said I need to tough it out for a few more weeks and I’ll feel better.

I am not patient. I was ready to start taking walks to prepare for my return to running. I don’t even know what to do with myself when I can’t be active. I miss my running friends. I feel a little like life is taking a crap on me lately. I know things could be worse, but they could also be better. It just seems like a little much all at once. Not to mention this is the season where it just starts to feel more gloomy.

It’s hard not to think about the unpredictable nature of life. The fact is that any little thing could alter the plans you’ve made and interrupt your goals. Something literally microscopic can force you to reevaluate things you thought were all within your control. There’s no telling when or if the controls will be relinquished back to you at any point.

I want to feel better. One day, I want to go out and run. I want to finish a freaking marathon still. Right now, I just want to have a restful night of sleep and a day where I don’t feel exhausted from the few things I do at the start of the day. Those things I want to do seem so much further out of reach than they did a month ago. Before I tripped and fell and before I was fighting off some microscopic body invader, I was so much more sure that it was possible. I’m pretty much mad that I’m sick with some sort of mystery bug that will likely hang around awhile longer while I anxiously await my chance to run. While I also try to believe that nothing else will get in the way of me getting back to my fitness journey, I can’t help but think of the possibilities of my next bump in the road.

Do you find it hard to entertain yourself when you have to ‘relax’? Have you ever felt depressed when you’re sidelined with an injury and/or illness? Have you started setting running/fitness goals for 2017 so they’re ready?

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